Oh My G*d

I want to remind you that little children are like great big sponges. They soak up everything that they come in contact with. And that means everything, whether it be good or bad. I could cite very many examples but I want to concentrate on just one right now. Can you guess what it is?

To start with, do you remember a book that was published sometime in the last few years of the 20th century: "Everything I ever needed to know, I learned while I was in kindergarten"? That gives premise to my statement about children being sponges.

Okay, maybe I'll concentrate on a couple of things: language, manners -- attitude and affection.

Language

Does the term, "monkey see monkey do" cause you to give thought? You might say that your children are what you say. They definitely are what you swear. Everything that you say, no matter how innocent or how profound or how profane sticks in their little ears and their little heads. Let me site a little anecdote/joke to illustrate this point.

Three little girls meet in a hotel playroom where they were consigned to spend time while their parents were in meetings and convention goings-on. They became acquainted and were having a good time just being together sharing family experiences and the like. They decided to pretend to go to the bar and order drinks just like their mothers. One girl pretended to be the bartender and the other two ordered drinks. The first said, "I think I'll have some bubbly champagne, it sparkles and it tickles my nose when I drink it." The bartender/little girl pretended to pick up a bottle, pop the cork and fill a glass/flute with champagne. All three little girls giggled. The second little girl said, "I think I'll have a snifter of brandy, it's fun to twirl in the glass and smell the aroma and gently sip it." Again all three little girls giggled. The bartender/little girl pretended to pick up a bottle and pour a glass full and hand it to the other cute little girl. Two of the little girls swapped places so that the third girl could place her order. She said, "I think I'll have a douche, they're so refreshing." The little girl bartender didn't quite know how to mix that.

That's just a cutesy story that might be considered a little risqué but it drives home a part of the point that I'm trying to make: what surrounds a child, your child, envelops them just like the atmosphere envelops earth. Earth cannot exist without air, children do not live and experience life without being smothered by things they see, hear and learn.

My next example about language involves mainly or primarily the breaking of one of God's 10 Commandments.

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."

The reason I bring this up is that it really shocks me and hurts my ears when a cute, little, innocent four-year-old says, for no good reason, not out of shock or exasperation, not because of anger or consternation, not for any sign of smart aleckness, "Oh My God!" It's just not right. It offends my senses and injures my sensibilities. It confirms the fact that that little innocent four-year-old is hearing things that their parents or babysitters or day care providers or play companions are uttering. Something needs to change.

What does it mean to take the name of the Lord in vain? What does it mean to take the name of thy God in vain?

Let me use my name, Roger, to cite a few thoughts that might give you pause and explain what I'm trying to say, as well as illustrate the things you are saying in front of innocent little ears. What would you say and what will you hear? "Roger damned you! I'll be Roger damned! You Roger damned idiot! Get your Roger damned hands off that!" Sometimes people try and soften it a bit but it still means the same thing. "Roger darn you! Rol dart you! Rod nab it!"

You get my drift?

Some people take the name of God in vain. Some people take the name of their Lord in vain. They are basically the same thing. It's not right, it is WRONG!

I know that many times I have used swear words. I apologize. In this case don't use me for an example. I'm sorry. They say that a lot of people swear because they don't have sufficient vocabulary words that they could use, so they swear. If that's the case, learn more vocabulary words. Don't belittle yourselves by swearing. Don't teach those belittling phrases to your children. The Bible says something about using only the phrases, "Yea, yea or nay, nay." I'll admit that that phrase is probably a little out dated, not to mention that it causes difficulty in your everyday speech patterns,, but if you have to think about yea, yea, nay, nay, you probably won't have a reason to say a swear word.

Next time you're going to swear just think to yourself, yea, yea, nay, what was I going to swear about?


Manners -- Attitude

The main thing that I want to say about manners and attitude is that a little innocent children act the way that their parents act and act the way that their parents have taught them to act. I might point out that little children will go just as far as they can as far as their parents will let them. In some cases it might be as far as the day care provider will also let them. Example is of the utmost importance. What your child sees you do, they will do.

Parents need to treat each other with respect. The children will follow.

Parents need to treat their young ones with respect -- with love. The children will follow.

Parents should not be little or gossip about others. The children will follow your lead. There is a saying that I heard quite some time ago, "two things are bad for the heart -- running upstairs and running down people!"

There's a good chance if you enjoy life, are happy and jovial and express it -- the children will follow. I think we all have room for improvement, and if we do, the children will follow.

Affection

Affection also follows a similar pattern. What your child sees, and gets, is what your child soaks in and receives. What your child hears is what she takes in her mind and heart. A case in point…

Two parents are talking to their children, Sandra and Susan. They say to the girls, "Sandra you are so smart. Susan you are so beautiful." from that statement the two girls learn six things:
1. Sandra is smart.
2. Susan is not smart.
3. Susan is beautiful.
4. Sandra is not beautiful.
And the important two:
5. Susan is actually dumb.
6. Sandra is actually ugly.

Is that any way for the two girls to actually come to feel? To believe?

Another case in point. If your child grows up getting hugs and feeling that they are loved they will pass that on to all they come in contact with and especially their children. If there are always getting browbeat and chastised and disciplined -- that's what they will pass on. Psychologists and psychiatrists are stating that one generation and its actions, attitudes, and their propensity to be like their parents is passed on.

What heritage do you want to pass on? How do you want to be remembered? What kind of history do you want to write? I would like you, and me to think about thoughts, actions, attitude, and how those things are expressed.